Deuxième Amour
by Innocent Innuendo
Summary: [SemiAU Lit.] The second time around, Rory is bound by all the rules of high society to let him go...But the real question is whether her heart will let her.[ON HOLD]
1. The Beginning of the End

**Title: A Map of Twists, Turns, and Broken Hearts**

**Series: Gilmore Girls**

**Author: Innocent Innuendo**

**Chapters: 1/(not sure) **

**Genre: Drama/ Romance/General**

**Summary: Semi-AU. Sometimes you make the wrong turn, and just continue down that path. Sometimes you don't even know until it's to late. And sometimes it takes someone from your past to set you back on the right road. Literati **

**Pairing: Literati, Rogan(but only for plot purposes), others will be added as time goes by **

**Rating: T right now, will go up to M in later chapters**

**Warnings: Mild cussing**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Because if I did Gilmore Girls would still be good**

**AN: This is Semi-AU, it's set before Nov. 8 episode (I'm so excited). It's also set about 5 months in the future and Logan has proposed. But not to worry this will be Jess/Rory. Because anything else is just wrong. **

**Also, I need Logan's parents names if anyone could give them too me.**

**I hope you enjoy the story.**

_I have so fiercely dreamed of you_

_And walked so far and spoken of you so,_

_Loved a shade of you so hard_

_That now I've no more left of you._

_I'm left to be a shade among the shades_

_A hundred times more shade than shade_

_To be shade cast time and time again into your sun-transfigured life._

_Last Poem by Robert Desnos_

It was a pear cut 2-karat diamond with two smaller squares cut ones on each side (but still large enough to be noticed) on a 24-karat gold band. It screamed expensive. It screamed I-have-a-rich-fiancée-who-loves-to-spoil-me. Which was what Rory Gilmore had in Logan Huntzburger (AKA Rich Fiancée). Come on, he had bought her a Birkin bag. A sure sign that he loved her. So, the fact that he had proposed just a month and a half later should not have as much of a surprise to Rory as it did. Even though shocked, she had jumped into his arms, squealed her yes (which had given the rest of the restart something to look at) and then kissed him deeply.

That was just over three months ago and tonight was the announcement/engagement party. Of course the Huntzburgers, Gilmores, and a few close friends knew but the purpose of tonight was to inform the rest of the high-class families in Hartford (and surrounding areas) that Logan Huntzburger was to marry Rory Gilmore.

When the Gilmores had found out about the engagement it was all smiles (although a little forced for Richard) and champagne. The Huntzburgers were a bit more…difficult. While there had been alcohol like with the Gilmores, the difference was that it was vodka and was being drunk at a hurried pace by Logan's father. There was also cigarettes being smoked by Logan's mother and a surprising show of tears by Logan's grandfather "at the shame of it all".

But they all had shared the burden of screaming. All pointing out many different reasons why the two of them should not be together (most of them having to do with money and social status). It continued in this fashion until Logan stood and gave his little "speech". The "speech" was him explaining that he would began to learn how to run the company under his father watchful eye and that in-between Emily and his mothers guidance Rory could learn what it took to be a "Huntzburger wife". And after close to an hour of debating and one threatened elopement, it was settled. Logan would learn the family trade and Rory would begin afternoon classes with Mrs. Huntzburger and her grandmother on how to throw parties, set up fundraisers, and other things that a business-mans wife would have to do. And when a respectable amount of time had gone by, they would announce it to the public.

It had been a month ago when they had deiced that it was time and had began to plan the party. It would be a nice catered dinner with a live pianist in the background. They would be holding it at the Huntzburger estate. So after a month of hasty planning and stressful phone-calls, the night of the party came.

(Sence Change)

Rory Gilmore sat in font the vanity mirror in one of the many guestrooms at the Huntzburger estate, which had been assigned to her to get ready in. Her eyes meet those of her reflection. Her hair was in a braided twist with one or two curls falling down her uncovered neck, her makeup was done darker than usual so her light blue eyes shone out in comparison, and she wore an off-the-shoulder midnight blue cocktail dress. It finish off the look she put in her favorite pearl-drop earrings.

Nervousness floated around in her stomach and she couldn't keep her hands still. These were the moments that she wished she smoked so that she had something to help calm her poor nerves. Oh god, she was beginning to sound like Mrs. Bennet. She imagined herself in one of silly looking bonnets with smelling salts in one hand and handkerchief in the other. The mental picture brought a smile to her mouth, and she made a mental note that she would have to re-read Pride and Prejudice again soon. She hadn't had much time to read in-between her lessons, community service and DRA meetings. And now that they were trying for a late-fall/early-winter wedding, she didn't think she would have much time in the near future.

She sighed. She was waiting for someone to come and tell her that it was time to go down to the party. Her grandmother thought that it would best for her to come down a bit later and make an entrance so that she would be noticed and seen. It was now getting close to a half an hour into the party and someone should be coming up any moment.

Rory looked down at her engagement ring for what might have been the ten-hundredth time that night. She lifted her hand up and let the light dance across the large center diamond. A contended smile spade over her lips. A giddy feeling spread throughout her body. She was to be married to Logan. A small giggle escaped her lips.

"Rory, are you ready to go down?" Emily's voice came from the doorway. Rory turned around and flashed her grandmother a bright smile that said she was.

"Why, Rory, you look simply marvelous."

"Thank you, grandma." She said, doing a little twirl.

Emily laughed, "Now, let's get you down to the party."

"Okay." Rory placed a smile on her lips stood up straight and pretended that there wasn't bats flying around her stomach as she walked down the stairs.

(Sence Change)

Jess Mariano sat in the middle of the large white van that had 'Lunar Catering' written in large scroll-like letters on the side. 'Lunar Catering' was an expensive catering company based in New York City that did fancy parties, weddings, and other such events. Jess had been lucky enough to land a job on a serving crew, the pay was good and the hours were mostly during the night and on weekends, so he had the days to work on his writing. He was also lucky enough to get a group of people that he liked to work with.

The company broke people up into groups of five with one or two supervisors. The group that you got was the one you worked with at all the events you went to. There were two different types of groups: Kitchen groups (who were labeled by colors) and Serving crews (who were labeled by numbers).

Jess was in serving group #13. Group 13 was the most interesting group by far at the Lunar. One of their supervisors was Stan, who was an ex-chief who had a ruddy complexion from too much years of cooking with a bottle of brandy sitting on the counter. He was laid-back and still liked to think that this was 70's and that is was okay that he had waist-long hair and a tie-die van. Even with his hippie personality, he knew how to get a job done and how to do it well. The other was his wife, Susan, who keep him and the rest of them in line and not getting their butts fired. They had gained all of their respect, which made it much easier to work together.

In the group of five, there was CJ an ex-surfer who Jess had meet when he was living with he dad in California. CJ had deiced to move back to New York with Jess and they shared an apartment. Dustin was a skater trying to turn pro, or maybe just get an MTV show like Bam Margera. Rebecca, who they all called 'Becks', was inspiring to be an actress and was known for being the drama-queen of the group. Maria was also on the road to being an actress but her love was Broadway. Jess was the intelligent and jaded badass of the group.

At the moment, Jess had his resting against the van window as he stared down at the book in his hands, only half listening to what Susan was saying.

"Tonight we have the Huntzburger engagement party. The Huntzburgers are a very important family; we can't screw this up. So best behavior tonight. Dustin, I thought I told you to shave. Oh, and Becks you had better get rid of the that gum before we get there."

"I know, Susan. We'll all do okay." Becks laughed.

"It'll be fine. You worry too much, sweetie." Stan said to his wife as he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the temple. Susan was sweet but a tendency to stress out and worry about everything.

"Well, someone has to or else we'd all get fired." She huffed in response. Stan laughed as his wife pouted.

"Anyway, at least we got the Red team for the cooking. They always make the best entrees." Maria said trying to reassure Susan. Susan nodded; knowing the fact was true.

"We're here." Came Stan's singsong voice from the driver's seat. All the passengers looked out at the large estate. CJ groaned, and whined,

"Great, another night with a bunch of snobby, rich people. Just the way I wanted to spend my Friday night."

Jess could only agree totally and completely as they pulled up and began to unload.

(Sence Change)

Rory had missed all the set-up, and party preparations because of her own preparation (Mrs. Huntzburger had insisted that she take the day off so that she looked her best). But the place looked incredible and everything seemed as if it was running just fine. With Emily Gilmore on the team how could it be anything but?

She had been down at the party for only ten minuets and had already been asked at least twenty times by different people to see her ring. She was feeling a little dizzy from all the attention. She saw one of the severs carrying tray of champagne filled glasses, and had to resisted the urge to run after him. She instead quietly excused herself the conversion and walked at a nice pace over to him and grabbed a glass off the tray. She said thank you but didn't take the time to make eye contact with the man.

She took a large sip as she walked. Maybe, if she kept in motion and looked like she was going somewhere, they would leave her alone.

"Rory!"

Damn.

(Sence Change)

God, these people were worse than usual, Jess thought to himself as he walked back to the kitchen to refill his tray. He had been talked down to, criticized, and some half-drunk chick had grabbed his ass. Also, some girl had nearly made him drop his tray when she walked by briskly and grabbed one. He sighed, opening the swinging door that lead to the kitchen.

As he walked through the door, he felt something cold, slimy and somewhat wet hit his eye. He heard Maria's snort (and failed attempts at not laughing), as he pulled a piece of smoked salmon away from his eye.

"I thought you were Becks." Maria said, not even trying to hide her laughter now.

"Yes, because I so look like a 5'3 buxom blond." He replied sarcastically, throwing the

salmon back at her.

"You may even be able to pass as Dolly Parton with a bit of makeup and sequins."

Becks burst through the door, with CJ following close behind.

"I have gossip!" She sang, waltzing over to Maria.

"Oh. Do tell."

Jess rolled his eyes at the two girls. He reached for a bottle of champagne, and began to full up the flutes.

"Okay, so you know that the Huntzburgers are super rich and super important, right? Well, the girl that marring in isn't rich. Well, her grandparents are and that's whose she's living with right now. But she didn't grow up rich. So it's a major scandal that they're getting married. There are rumors that it may be a shotgun wedding."

"Oh, juicy." Maria ewed and awed.

"I know. But apparently she's a 'delight to behold'."

"What's her name?"

"Oh…dang…what was it. It started with a G. Grismon, no. Gillum, no. Oh, CJ do you remember?"

"Gilmore." CJ commented dryly, use to the girl's behavior.

"Oh, that's right. Rory Gilmore."

A half-filled champagne flute fell to the floor and shattered. Jess stared wide-eye at the wall in front of him, hands shaking.

Shit.

br br br 

She had a smile plastered across her face. It was a fake one. But it was one never the less. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go lay down and crash. She didn't know how she was going to make it through the night. She had been so nervous that she didn't get any sleep last night. Her eyes drooped, and she leaned against the wall behind her for support. She sighed and let herself imagine a big fluffy, warm pillow. Rory let her eyes shut completely and continued the daydream.

Rory suddenly felt a hand touch her shoulder and she jumped. Looking up, she saw Logan. Giving him a warm smile, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm exhausted." She said with a yawn.

"That not great considering we aren't even half way done." Logan said giving her a sympathetic smile before saying, " But you're going to have to get use to things. Now, I have some people I want to meet."

Rory felt a small whine escape her throat, as Logan pulled her over to meet a pleasant looking older couple. She plastered her smile back on.

May more champagne would help?

(Sence Change)

Jess was watching her, his face half covered by shadows. Not all of the shadows were made because of the lighting. Emotions flashed through his eyes as he stared. Confusion, angry, jealousy, a tiny bit of happiness, maybe even hope but most of all there was pain. The type of pain that was only in great works of literature. The type that changed a man forever. He watched her laugh at something the man beside her said (most likely her fiancée).

A deep scowl etched its way onto his face. Here he was, having a damn near emotional breakdown and she was laughing as if there wasn't a care in the world.

God, why did she have to be so beautiful?

She had grown up. Her body had filled out in a way that made his hands itch to touch her. Her makeup was done dark, and her hair was now lighter than it use to be. He watched the way her dress floated around her. It was as if it was airbrushed on, the way it shifted over curves and showed glimpses of skin. Silk, it must be made of silk, he thought absently.

He wanted to run his fingers over it. Run them down the soft blue material and feel her body beneath it. He wanted to touch her wrists again. Jess had always loved her wrists, how very small the were. Dainty, as well. They made his hands seem so large, in a way that nothing else could. He would run his hand over the bone and trace the blue vein that lay just below the skin. He would be happy if he just lay with her and feel the pulse. First with his hand then with his mouth.

He had use to think, when he held her wrists, that if he could just protect something so small and perfect that his life would have a meaning. But he hadn't. He'd hurt the only thing that he'd ever wanted to protect.

Even with her looking all grow up, she still had a innocent and almost princess-like air about her. The air that was giving to someone who was loved and cherished since the time they were born. It was a air that enthralled and entranced you. One that never left. Even if you thought it did, it would be back to remind you of itself only days, sometimes hours later.

Jess gave an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through he's already unruly hair. Why? Why did he have to see her again? It had been over a year since he'd last seen her and he was finally getting over her. He had stopped thinking about her everyday and the pain in his heart had gone down to a dull ache.

He didn't want this. These emotions. He had never been great with emotions and Rory had always been a weak spot for him.

He was tired of getting his heart broken by the only girl he had ever given it too. But something always seemed to bring her back again to break him another time.

And he always got sucked in.

(Sence Change)

Rory breathed in the fresh, although cold, air. She had been able to sneak a out of the party for a moment, much to her pleasure. Not that meeting old couples and being fawned over wasn't fun; it just got old…fast.

She had escaped to the balcony that overlooked that gardens (which were lighted at the moment). She placed her half-filled champagne flute down on the stone railing that surrounded the balcony. The cold February air, brushed her skin and a chill began to set it's way into her bones. She didn't care. She spun around with her arms outstretched.

Rory turned her face upwards toward the heavens and give the stars a bright smile. She felt very free at the moment. Freer than she had in awhile.

She was happy that she was marrying Logan. She truly was. She loved him and wanted to be with him. It was just that she felt well…trapped. Even though she was happy, she sometimes had to wonder.

Was it okay for her to feel so bittersweet all the time?

Logan was amazing. The perfect man, he could give her so much; a nice house, first edition books, a honeymoon to Italy.

Sure, it wasn't what she thought that her life was going to be. But, really, whose life turns out the way they plan?

Was it okay for her to fell so captured? She sometimes felt as if she was a songbird, one that use to fly free but was caught and put in a cage that had wire wrapped around it to keep her inside. The cage was small, and she could never fully extend her wings. Soon, her voice would deep out completely.

Rory turned her face upwards towards the heavens and stared at the moon. It was full and beautiful. She was glad no one tried to capture the moon. It was too amazing to ever be put into a cage.

"'I have never seen or heard of such a fish. But I must kill him. I am glad we do not have to try to kill the stars.'" She quoted as she let the icy air nip at her cheeks.

"Huh. So, you finally gave Ernest a try?" A deep, somewhat monotone voice came from behind her. A voice she knew all too well.

She spun around.

"Jess!"

End Ch.1

AN: I hope you all enjoyed it. CH. 2 should be up soon. The quote that Rory said was from "Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemmingway. Thanks for reading. Please comment.


	2. Balcony

**Title: A Map of Twists, Turns, and Broken Hearts**

**Series: Gilmore Girls**

**Author: Innocent Innuendo**

**Chapters: 2? **

**Genre: Drama/ Romance/General**

**Summary: Semi-AU. Sometimes you make the wrong turn, and just continue down that path. Sometimes you don't even know until it's to late. And sometimes it takes someone from your past to set you back on the right road. Literati **

**Pairing: Literati, Rogan (but only for plot purposes), others will be added as time goes by **

**Rating: T right now, will go up to M in later chapters**

**Warnings: Mild cussing**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Because if I did Gilmore Girls would still be good**

**AN: This is Semi-AU, it's set before Nov. 8 episode. It's also set about 5 months in the future and Logan has proposed. But not to worry, this will be Jess/Rory (Because anything else is just wrong).**

**I'm so sorry this is so late I didn't have computer access for about a week. It's also not as long as I wanted it to be but I promise to make it up in Ch.3.**

**Thank you to sanfrangiantsfan who gave me Logan's parents names. You're awesome!**

**Also, a thank you to Green Eve for her great advice, if you want an amazing Jess/Rory story with an in-depth plot check out her stuff. **

**I'm happy that people enjoyed the Hemmingway quote. I thought it was cute and I'm happy you all agree.**

**Hope you enjoy it! **

_Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin_

_Apologize for all my sins_

_All the things I should have said to you_

_Hey, I can't make it go away_

_Over and over in my brain again_

_All the things I should have said to you_

_Counting Stars by Sugarcult_

&

&

&

"Hey."

"Uh…hey." Shock.

"So, how'd you enjoy it?"

"Huh? Enjoy what?" Slit stutter. Confusion.

"Ernest." Amusement.

"Oh…I almost fell asleep a couple of times but the uh…the meaning and symbolize was…well beautiful." Unsure. Nervous.

Pause.

"What are you doing here?" Slightly accusing.

"Work." Smirk. "You?"

"It's my engagement party." Looks at ground, before looking up.

"Huh. Fancy that."

&

&

&

He was smirking. It was the same one as all those years ago. The one that always hides whatever he's truly thinking about. The one that all those years ago had caused new and different feelings to swim in her stomach. The same one that made she unsure on whether she wanted to hit him or kiss him.

The surprise was that it was still causing those same emotions.

As she stared, mouth unsure of what to say next, her eyes meet his. They were olive green at the moment. White did that to his eyes. They changed in colors, his eyes. Mostly from the different colors he would wear. They would switch between a startling green to a bright brown.

She had always loved that. She had even taken to finding out what colors caused the changes. Black was dark brown. Red was amber. White olive-green. Blue was hazel. God, there were so many different combinations. And all of them equally wonderful.

Oh god, what was she thinking. She was acting as if she was still in love with this man. Which she wasn't. She was over Jess. She loved Logan now.

Right?

She forced herself to look away and step out of the past.

&

&

&

She was nervous, he thought with a fondness that belonged only to her. She kept biting her bottom lip, and her hands couldn't stop their jittery movements. His smirk widened. He liked knowing that he had an affect on her. Even if it was just nervousness.

She was staring at him now. Her eyes were still the same cerulean blue that could capture him for hours in their depths. He liked how the black eyeliner and eyeshadow made them look so much lighter. Almost to the color of sky-blue.

She looked away, down at her blue stilettos. Jess felt himself starting to feel awkward. When he'd seen her escaping the party, he'd followed her. He'd seen a opportunity and he'd taken it. But he didn't have anything planned. No literary masterpiece to quote or well-written declarations of love.

Hemmingway, the wonderful man, had given an opening. But what now? What was he supposed to do with it?

Where did he go from here?

&

&

&

Rory licked her lips and looked deep into her mind for something to say. She had so many questions to ask.

How have you been?

Do you speak with Luke?

Are you still living in New York?

How the weather?

And so, so many more. But none of them seemed right. None of them were good enough.

None of them were what she truly wanted to say.

&

&

&

Jess felt his hands start to trimmer slightly. He wanted to touch her. To make sure she was real and that this wasn't just another of his reoccurring dreams. The ones that would haunt him with her image for hours only to have her slip away yet again.

He looked her face over. Now that he was closer he could see that her hair now had a reddish tone to it. He liked it.

He eyes moved down to her alabaster colored neck. The blue of the dress went well against it. He glanced at her collarbone and resisted the urge to run his hands over it.

God, Mariano, just fucking say something. You're acting like an idiot.

So, Jess said the first that came to his mind,

"I see you got bangs. I like 'em."

Well, at least he wasn't acting anymore. He was most definitely an idiot.

&

&

&

Rory laughed, breaking the awkward silence. He relished in the sound of it.

"Thanks. I've been thinking of growing them out."

"Nah. You should keep them. They look good on you. They make you look more grownup." He smirked, reaching out to touch one of the feathery locks.

Rory's smile stilled and her breath became shaky as soon as his callused fingertips brushed against her skin. She suddenly couldn't feel the cold that surrounded her anymore. She sucked in a breath, and lifted her head to meet his.

Green and blue meet, and something clicked. Through neither would ever admit it.

Damn it, Mariano. Step away from the pretty girl and run.

Run far, far away.

It took all his self-restraint but he took a step back. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets to keep from doing something so stupid again.

&

&

&

They stood at a distance with both of their stances saying they were uncomfortable. Jess was staring over the balcony while Rory was looking downwards at her feet. Both stood in silence not wanting to repeat their last 'conversion'. But also not wanting the other to walk away.

Rory heard Jess mumble something and she looked at him, "Huh?"

"What? Oh, nothing."

Rory smiled and they went back to their silence.

Jess turned so that his chest was facing the balcony and leaned against it. Crossing his arms, he looked over at Rory. Rory noticed for the first time that he must not have shaved that day because there was light stubble that was covering his chin and lower cheeks. There was a soft smile on his lips, something that Rory loved to see but something that also wasn't shown very often.

"Am I interrupting?" Came a voice behind the two.

Both turned their heads toward the noise.

Jesse's eyes' narrowed already half-knowing whom it was.

"Logan!" Rory said brightly even though she was slightly sad that her talk with Jess had been cut short. Well, might as well get to explaining. "Logan this is Jess. Jess is…um…well you see…"

"Old friend. Just an old friend." Jess said in his usual monotone voice, eyes on Logan.

Rory nodded, "Yep, he moved to Stars Hallow my junior year."

"Interesting," Was all Logan said, eyes locked with Jess.

Tense silence.

Logan was the first to break to break, " By the way, I'm Logan Huntzburger. Rory's Fiancée."

"Huh. Good for you."

The staring between the two men continued until Rory couldn't take it anymore. "So, Logan, what was it you came up here for?"

"I was looking for you," Logan said breaking the stare, "Mom wants to make the announcement and toast so that we can begin dinner."

"Oh, okay."

Logan turned to Jess, "You wouldn't if I stole my fiancée back, would you?"

" Hey, it your party." Jess flippantly replied.

"Yeah it is." Logan put his arm around Rory's waist, " Come on, Rory, lets get back to the party."

"Oh…okay." Rory turned to Jess, " I'll see you later then I guess?"

"Yeah, later."

Rory smiled at him one last time before turning around and leaving.

As soon as they were out of sight, Jess gave a frustrated groan before kicking the hard stone railing with his foot. He ran his hand though his hand, trying to keep from punching the brick wall beside him.

He hadn't wanted this. This…pain. Not right when things were beginning to be okay.

He didn't want to deal with this.

He couldn't deal with it.

&

&

&

They were standing in the parlor near the grand marble fireplace. Shira, Mitchum, Richard, and Emily were all making short toasts and speeches. The other well-off families stood before them clapping, laughing and drinking when called for. Rory and Logan were holding hands, smiling at one another ever so often. They gave off the apprentice of the prefect couple. The couple that throw Christmas parties and enroll their kids in private academies and went to all their soccer games. Rory smiled up at Logan when Richard finished his toast and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Jess watched from the hallways that lead to the room. He watched the way the firelight played across Rory's face and the way the smile that screamed happiness never left her face.

He gulped, feeling as though he couldn't get enough air.

He had lost her…again. There was no way she would ever see him as she did all those tears ago. Logan had her now and he was in the past for her. She had moved on.

Jess gave one last look at Rory, memorizing the planes of she face at that exact moment.

He would move on too. After tonight, he would never see her again.

With one last pain-hearted glance, he turned and walked away.

&

&

&

Rory watch him leave. His posture, the guarded look in his eyes, the way his jaw tightened. It looked so much like the last time he had left.

The time she had said no.

&

&

&

Rory poked more than ate the fancy salmon dish that was in front of her. She was sitting in-between Logan and an old businessman named Frank. Her and Frank were had just gotten done debating over The Fountainhead. Frank had put up a great argument but in the end victory was hers. Richard had sent a proud look at his granddaughter from across the table, while Shira sent a disapproving glance at the head of the table. Rory remembered one of the lessons that Shira had taught her.

_Make sure never to make any man feel that you are smarter than him, because they might one-day become Logan's friend or business partner and they won't want to feel as though they are not as smart as his wife._

Rory sighed and excused herself from the table. She began to walk in the direction of the bathroom, but stopped short when she spotted the kitchen doors.

&

&

&

Jess was playing poker with CJ and Maria. CJ had won the last two hands, but Jess was the king at poker, so he wasn't that worried. Maria was also holding her own but wasn't quite as good as the guys. Jess smirked to himself as he looked at the full house in his hand.

Jess heard the kitchen door open, but thinking it was just one of the kitchen crew coming to grab something, he didn't pay much attention. Until he heard a soft hesitant,

"Excuse me…"

Jess looked up to see a dark haired girl in a blue dress.

"Rory!" He stood so fast that his chair almost toppled over.

"Hi." Rory said seeming slightly nervous.

Jess walked over to where she stood, " So, uh, what are you doing here?"

"Doing?" She head snapped up, " Oh, you see I came in here to get a…" Rory looked around the room trying to spot something to save her from the situation. Damn, why hadn't she thought this through? Rory then saw a crème colored cloth with a gold ring around it. "A napkin." She all but exclaimed.

"A napkin?" Jess asked one brow cocked.

"Yes, a napkin. Mine fell on the floor and I needed a new one." She said proud of her half-baked story.

"Huh." He commented smirking.

"What?" Rory narrowed her eyes at him.

"Nothing. It's just I never took you for being a germ-freak, that's all." His smirk widening into a half-grin.

Rory replied slightly offended, "I am very…neat and tidy, for you information."

"Never said you weren't." 'I remember your room.' He added in his head. " It's just that, did you and your mother even own a vacuum?"

Rory glanced down at the white and black marble floor. "We always borrowed Sookies."

Jess just smirked.

'God, that look is so infuriating.' Rory thought. " Napkin?" She asked again, holding out a hand.

"Whatever you say, Rory." Jess said walking to the table that had the extras on it. "Want me to put some Clorox on it first?" He said handing it to her.

" Ha Ha. Very funny, Mike Myers."

"I always thought I was more of a Chris Rock type."

Rory rolled her eye at the man in front of her. She eye looked down at the soft, thick material in her hands. 'You could just walk away and leave it at this,' Rory thought to herself. Rory twisted the napkin in her hands, her demeanor turning serious.

"Jess." She said meeting his eyes. " I…well…I just wanted to…" She took a deep breath. "Please say goodbye this time." When he didn't answer she continued. " I mean it's just that we haven't left on the best of terms. Not that it was your entire fault; I just wanted to…" She rambled.

"Okay." Jess said suddenly.

"Oh, good." Rory eyes snapped back to his. " Well, anyway, I had better be going." She paused then added; "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, you will."

She smiled before heading to the door, leaving only a faint scent of honeysuckle and vanilla behind.

Jess turned back to his friends with their questioning looks and flat out gapping.

"Not a word. From any of you." He snapped.

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It was close to one o'clock, once all the cleaning putting up of dishes was done. Jess carrying the last box of dishes out to the van. The cold February air surrounded him as he put the dishes in and shut the doors to the back of the van. He heard the faint click of heels against cement, and smelled her perfume before seeing her.

"Hey." Her voice soft.

"Hey back." He turned around. She looked exhausted and cold. "Tired?"

"Yeah, who knew old people could party that long." She answered yawning. " But you're the one with the drive ahead of you."

"Yeah. But it's no big deal. We make it all the time." He leaned against the van; hands shoved deep in pockets.

"Right." She nodded.

Her breath was coming out in white puffy clouds. He liked it.

"So I guess you've got to get going, right?"

"Yeah, the closest good gas station is forty miles away."

"Right. Gas, you'll be needing that. And junk food?"

He nodded. "And coffee."

"Can never have enough coffee." She smiled. " So, it was really good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too."

She closed the few feet of space between them and wrapped her around his neck. He stood still for a moment before taking his hands out of his pockets and putting them around her waist. It was meant to be a friendly hug, just a caring gesture. But it was a bit to long and a bit too awkward to pass for it.

Stepping away she said, " Bye Jess." She began to walk away.

"Goodbye Rory."

She gave him one last glance before pulling her coat tighter about herself and walking to the house.

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Jess was leaning against the van smoking a cigarette in a dimly lit gas-station parking lot. He let the smoke enter his lungs and relished the feeling of it. CJ walked up to join him and leaned against the van himself.

"So, was that the girl that you told me about?"

He paused a movement before answering, "Yes, that was her."

CJ just sighed and patted him on the shoulder before heading off.

Jess replayed the night events over and over again like a movie he couldn't get enough. He remembered what he had said on the balcony, even though Rory hadn't him say it.

He now whispered it to himself in the darkness and the dirtiness of the gas-station parking lot,

_I loved you; even now I may confess, _

_Some embers of my love their fire retain; _

_But do not let it cause you more distress, _

_I do not want to sadden you again. _

_Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly _

_With pangs the jealous and the timid know; _

_So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely, _

_I pray God grant another love you so._

Jess threw his cigarette in a nearby puddle and watched it sizzle out.

A.N.: Did you like it? Please review. The poem Jess said is I loved you by Alexander Pushkin. Its wonderful, I love it. And I thought it also went perfect with the Jess angst thing I've got going here. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Ch.3 will be longer and out sooner. And it'll also be set in New York.


	3. Facing Truth in Dirty Snow

**Title: A Map of Twists, Turns, and Broken Hearts**

**Series: Gilmore Girls**

**Author: Innocent Innuendo**

**Chapters: 3/(not sure) **

**Genre: Drama/ Romance/General**

**Summary: SemiAU Lit. Rory is bound by all the rules of high society to let him go...But the real question is whether her heart will let her.**

**Pairing: Literati, Rogan, Java Junkie, and Lane/Dave**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Language, an angry Jess, and an angst filled Rory**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Because if I did Jess/Rory would be everywhere! Lit makes me happy…in my pants. **

**AN: I love all of you who reviewed; I want to do sinful things with you. You all rock! The more reviews the more I like to update.**

**I'm so sorry about the long wait. Life is crazy. My job is keeping me super busy and I have a Microbiology class that is kicking my ass. I'll do my very best to have CH. 4 out sooner. I'm really sorry about all this, I'm a really bad updating, which is why I usually stick to one-shots. **

**By the way, I changed the summery. Thinking of changing the title as well, but I don't know to what yet.**

**I'm also in need of a Beta-reader, if anyone is interested. My grammar and spelling are in desperate need of improvement. Please email me at with and for details. Thank you. **

**Oh, and thanks Chrissy for pushing me to get the chapter out. I love you girl!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please review. Feedback makes me happy.**

_It's safe to say I'm lonely now_

_A place called home_

_Is just a memory away_

_I know I've done this all before_

_A thousand silent voices_

_Begging me to stay_

_Apologies all left unsaid_

_Secrets better left unspoken_

_Dreams are slowly put to bed_

_Rumors stirred and reawoken_

_If I try to get away_

_How long until I'm free_

_And if I don't come back here_

_Will you remember me?_

_Remember Me_-_The Birthday Massacre_

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Lane Kim walked barefoot in the apartment in which she lived with her band mates. She was jumping around dirty socks and day-old dishes.

Eww…

She looked down at what was a pair of Brain's Power man underwear.

Eww! Eww! Eww!

Living with guys sucked!

She jumped as high and as far as she could over them.

Finally making to the small kitchen, she walked over to the freezer and pulled out a large tub of Rocky Road ice cream. Ice cream for breakfast, breakfast at one in the afternoon…Ah life was good.

Lane flipped on the television and sat down a mouthful of ice cream inside her mouth. She didn't work until three today, so Lane wasn't sure what to do.

Shower-Check

Ice cream- Check

Burned three new CDs-Check

…

What else could morning hold for her. She could clean…Ha, no way. Lane looked down at her chipping toenail polish…Nah; she kind of liked it like that. Very Nancy. Wait…did she want to be Nancy? No, too screwed…but Sid was incredibly hot… and she's one of the most famous Rock'n'Roll…

No, bad Lane, bad! No becoming Nancy. No heroin!

Taking another giant spoonful of the now runny ice cream, Lane picked up her cell phone. May she could set up a show for the band or something?

Wait…

Oh, most defiantly the 'Or Something'…

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Rory sat in the dressing room area of one the choicest boutiques that New York had to offer. Honor, Juliet, Honor's friend Elizabeth, and Rosemary had all planned a girl's weekend out to New York City.

Honors own wedding was coming up in the next few months and she was spending as much of her time as she could to party and hang out with her girlfriend. Not that Rory could blame her; she had been doing the same things until a little over two weeks ago. Until she had seen a certain dark hair man, one who she had thought disappeared from her life years ago. Ever since that night her doubts had been getting stronger.

She wished that she hadn't let the chance slip by…

She should have gotten his number. But she hadn't.

As if on cue, Rory's purse began to sing '_The District Sleeps Alone Tonight' by The Postal Service, _and for a brief moment she thought it might be him. But she shoved the feeling away the moment it registered. Flipping open her cell phone Rory saw a name that made a grin spread over her face.

"Lane!" She exclaimed.

"Rory!" Lane answered.

Walking out of the bouquet, Rory asked, "How are you? How's the band? Work? Stars Hollow in general?"

" Good. Better, we have a gig coming up. Boring, but it gives me money. Crazy…Kirk got another cat."

Rory winced, "You'd think he'd learn."

"Well, he is Kirk."

Rory smiled. "True."

"Anyway, what's up with you? How's the wedding plans going? Snagged Alice yet?"

"Still working on him but Ozzy will most defiantly be there."

"Darn…well we can't have everything can we?"

"Maybe, but we must never give up trying."

"Here, here. Maybe we should toast to that? You got a flask with you?"

"Yes, and it has the playboy bunny on it."

Lane snorted, "Necessary for any Gilmore girl."

"And Kim." Rory laughed.

Lane joined her. "So, any other big news going on? Robbing any bank? Overdosed on Jolt…again."

"Hey, the last time I did that I was twelve. You'd think you'd drop it by now."

"But the whole 'I'm the Queen of England' part was so funny. Remember how you made the table into your throne?"

An evil glint came into Rory's eye; "I don't need to remind you of the Great Fry Incident of '95, do I?"

Lane promptly shut up, "Subject dropped."

"Oh, I'm in New York. Can I pick you up anything?"

"Oh, the new _Panic! At the Disco_ and _Jack Mannequin_ CDs. Oh, and any of_ At the Drive-In_'s stuff but only on vinyl. Plus, if you see anything you think I might like, buy it. I'll get the money to you later. "

"Okay, you got it."

"So you sure there isn't any juicy gossip to tell me? I'm dying to know the secret life of Rory Gilmore."

Rory knew that Lane was just joking about the whole secret life thing but she and Rory hadn't been hanging out lately. Even less since the engagement and Rory had an awful feeling that it was just going to get less and less. But Rory wouldn't go down without a fight.

"None, really. We finally made the engagement public and threw…Oh my God, I never told you."

"What?" She sounded excited.

Rory bit her lip. "Well, I…I saw Jess."

"What!"

Rory held the phone away from her ear. "Are you trying to make me go deaf?"

"But…Jess. You saw Jess. Oh my god, you saw Jess. What happened? How? What did you all talk about? Where…"

"Okay, slow down. He was at my engagement party. He was there as one of the serving crew. That was a little over two weeks ago."

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

"Was it okay?"

"Yeah, awkward but…nice. It was good to see him and not leave on such bad terms."

"Yeah…Whoa…I mean it's just so random."

Rory gave a small laugh as she lowered her eyelids. "Yes, yes it was." She paused before saying, "So, what's the gossip with you?"

"Nothing really. The band got a gig next month. You think you can come?"

"Won't miss it."

"Yay! I'll send you a flyer." Land paused a moment, "Okay, so I have to ask. Were you completely socked when Lorelei told you the news?"

"What news?" Rory asked confused.

"About her and Luke silly. You couldn't have forgotten."

"I don't know what you're talking about. What about my mom and Luke? I haven't even talked with either."

"What…you mean you really don't know? Whoa…"

"What is it, Lane?"

"Nothing. Never-mind. Forget I said anything, I'm sure you'll find out later." Lane said nervously.

"Lane, tell me." Rory warned. "If it's about my mother, I have a right to know."

"But…"

"Tell me." She demanded.

Lane sighed. "Fine but you aren't allowed to be mad at me."

Rory's harsh sigh made Lane continue. "Lorelei…Lorelei is pregnant."

Shocked silence overtook the phone but a soft, "What?", was choked out by Rory.

"Oh, Rory. I'm so sorry. I really thought you knew."

"It's okay Lane." But inside she was screaming that it wasn't. "I'll…just talk with you later, okay?"

"…Okay. Bye Rory. I'm really sorry."

"I know. Bye Lane."

Hanging up her cell phone, Rory stared out into the New York traffic. After months of denial Rory was forced to ask herself the question she had been dreading-

Had things really gotten that bad between she and her mother?

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Rory was walking down some New York City street that she didn't know the name of. After getting off the phone and regaining mobile capability, she had begun to walk. Just walked. No real destination.

She walked straight, and then right, then right again, took a left, and straight on for a while. Somewhere between the second right and the left Rory had called Honor's cell phone and told her something had come up and that she would meet them back at the hotel later. Honor had sounded worried but hadn't asked any questions, which Rory was grateful for.

That was over a half-an-hour ago and Rory had decided that black stiletto healed boots were not made for walking. No matter what any song said.

Stupid false advertisement.

Rory was tried and emotionally drained. But she hadn't cried. Not yet at least. A part of her wished that she would, if only for some kind of emotionally release. Maybe it would make her feel better.

But she wouldn't…couldn't. All she could do was walk. Walk far and fast, her boots crunching on the once-white snow.

So she continued. At least until she reached a small bookstore on the corner.

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It reminded her of the bookstore in _The Never Ending Story_. Tall isles filled with books that had strange leather covers. What little light that came through the small windows caught the dust particles that danced in the air. This was the type of bookstore where you could find a hidden treasure of a book or just the prefect one. This place seemed to have a bit of magic to it.

When Rory walked into the small shop, a small man with a heavy Russian accent and a sweet smile greeted her. He had asked if he could help her with anything and she replied that she was just browsing. He smiled again and told her that he would be in the back if she needed anything. She had smiled back and then went to browse. After find an old hardback of _The Scarlet Pimpernel_, Rory sat down with her back up against the wall and began to flip through the pages.

Rory's headed snapped up as she heard a small bell jingle. She blinked her eyes, grogginess still filling her head. She must dozed off.

Standing up Rory stretched her arms above head. After a yawn, she placed the book back to its rightful place.

"Hey Leo. You here?" came a muffled male voice from the entrance hall.

An oddly familiar male voice.

Curious, Rory poked her head out from the isle, only to see a very interesting sight. Gapping, Rory looked at the sight in front of her.

Before her was Jess…and he was juggling a bag of cat food in one arm and a bag of kitty litter in the other.

Oh my god Jess! It was Jess.

Rory dropped to her knees and hands, looking for something to hide behind. Wait, hadn't she just wanted to see him? Well…yes…but not right now. She couldn't see him right now; too much had happened today. The only people she wanted to see right now were the ones that could give her a whiskey sour or something along those lines.

But this was her chance. She couldn't be sure she when see him again.

Rory 'inner debate' continued to rage. Leaving her on all fours in-between to large bookcases…and very easy to spot.

"Rory?" A shocked and somewhat loud voice said, shocking Rory from her stupor. Her head came up and she froze as Jess fixed her with a inquiring look.

"Rory…What in the world are you doing here…on the floor?"

Rory gave an uneasy laugh. "The book I wanted was on the bottom shelf." Her hand groped for a random book, and after finding one she held it up for Jess to see.

Jess gave an unsure and somewhat shocked look. "Uh…so when are you due?"

Rory's face was overtaken by confusion. Turning over the book she read the title- _Do It Right: A Guide to Pregnancy_.

Rory's face flamed.

Death.

Now, please.

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Close to fifteen minutes later Rory sat at a small wooden table in a small kitchen. It was placed in a small one-bedroom apartment that was placed above the bookstore.

Mere moments after her humiliating incident with Jess the little old man whom own the bookstore (Leo, she assumed) walked out. Then promptly began to laugh. After regaining his composure, he had offered them both to stay for tea.

Blushing as she stood, Rory had accepted.

Jess grunted and asked where he wanted the bags. Leo had answered upstairs and Jess started to walk to the back and climb the wood stairs. Without knowing where to go she followed Jess, asking if she could hold one of the bags for him. He had declined but had asked her to open the door for him. As she walked into the apartment she realized why Jess had kitty supplies, as two cats began to purring and twirl around her feet.

"Hello, there." She bent down to pat the orange tabby-cat, while the gray one mewed from the loss of attention. Jess walked into the conjoined kitchen and living room. He sat the bags on the counter and turn around to stare at the girl kneeling on the floor.

Rory looked up to see Jess looking at her, dark eyes unreadable. Awkwardly she raised from her spot on the floor and smiled. Fiddling with her hair she said, "So pretty wild, huh?" She gave a nervous laugh.

Jess's jaws tighten slightly, "Yeah…pretty wild." He turned around to put the kettle on for tea. Rory wasn't sure what to say or do, so she just stood over to the side leaning against the wall. It wasn't long before Leo came in and introduced himself.

"Well, hello there m'dear, I'm Leo Mihailov. It is very nice to meet one of Jess' friends." With his thick accent it took Rory a moment to understand him but his smile as bright as ever and it made her smile back.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Mihailov. I'm Rory Gilmore."

"Please call me Leo. It not everyday I get the pleasure of having such a pretty girl in my shop." He gave a Rory a wink.

Rory laughed while Jess muttered something along the line of 'old pervert'. "So how do you know Jess?"

Leo gave a smile, "Jess helps me around the shop when's he's free. He also goes and gets my groceries for me. I give him free books in payment…although he barely ever lets me give him them."

Rory made an 'Aww' sound and said to Jess. "Jess who know you were such a sweetheart."

Jess just grumbled. "I only do it for the books." But before he turned his back Rory saw the flush on his cheeks.

She snickered. "Sure, you do."

Jess didn't feel as if he should credit that comment with a response.

Leo looked at Jess. "He's a good lad."

Rory smiled and her eyes softened with her knowing it. "Yes. Yes, he is."

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Jess and Rory were both on their second cup coffee, while Leo was having some tea. Leo had also pulled out some cookies and crumpets. And it wasn't until then that Rory remembered that she hadn't ate since that morning and was half starved.

Not like children in Africa kind of staved…but for a Gilmore girl half a day was close enough.

They had been sitting at the table for close to an hour now, just talking. They had mostly spoken about Leo's life and how he had come to the US. Rory was sad to learn that Leo had had a wife that had died two years prior.

They spoke of books and even a bit about music. For an older man, Rory thought he had pretty good taste in music. More jazz and blues than she was used to though.

Leo had just finished a funny story involving a cat and a can opener, and they all sat around the table laughing. Even Jess was giving off some deep chuckles and Rory was enjoying it.

It was…nice.

Just sitting and talking about nothing over coffee. It wasn't something she got it do anymore. Everything was about how to set up dinner dates and how to run the Huntzberger home.

After a moment of sobering up Leo said, "I noticed I've been monopolizing the conversation. Please forgive me. So…how is it that you and Jess became friends? Did you go to school together?"

Rory laughed. "No, we don't. We…dated our senior year of high school."

Jess scoffed. "Rory's a brain. She goes to Yale."

"Oh, is that right? That's amazing!" Leo exclaimed.

Rory lowered her eyes, "Well…not right now. I'm…uh…taking some time off from school."

"What?" Jess looked over at her, eyes hard and shocked.

Rory flushed. "Some…complications came along and now with the wedding…I just don't have time for school."

"You? No time for school. That's like saying fish don't need water. It's impossible." Jess' brow was draw and Rory could tell that he was upset.

Leo seemed oblivious to it all. "Are you getting married dear?

"Oh, yes I am." Rory extended her left hand to show Leo the ring. Leo looked at it and gave a low whistle. "So who is the lucky guy?"

"Logan Huntzberger." She smiled at the name and how proud she was to be marrying him.

"Ah. Is your family good okay with this match?" Leo asked.

Jess looked at Rory, his voice snide. "Yeah…I want to hear this. How does Lorelei feel about this? I don't remember seeing her that the engagement party?"

Rory couldn't surpass the glare that arose in her. "My mother and I…are not speaking at the moment. I'm living with my grandparents for right now."

Jess couldn't hold in the shock he felt. After a moment his jaw tightened, eyes turned steely, and he shook his head. He turned to Leo, "I've got to get going. I'll see you on Tuesday." He didn't even look at Rory. He couldn't. No right now.

Leo opened his mouth to say something but Jess is already halfway down the stairs.

Rory stood fast, eyes slightly frantic. "Thank you for…everything. I must go. It was nice to meet you." She ran down the stairs.

Leo sat at the table, stunned.

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Rory ran from the shop, looking around for Jess. She saw a dark head moving briskly through the crowd. She ran after him. She could tell it was him from the worn jeans jacket he was wearing.

"Jess! Jess stop."

He didn't.

She ran around the people that were on the streets, trying to catch up with him. Luckily there weren't many people out because it was already getting dark. Most people in this area would be sitting at home with their kids and pets eating dinner by now.

"Jess. Come on, let's talk about this!"

He ignored her again.

She was getting mad. Why wouldn't he let her explain? Why was he mad anyway? There was nothing wrong with not going to college. He hadn't! She sped up, reaching a hand out to grab his shoulder, only to have him shrug her off.

She stopped and half-screamed, desperate. "Don't walk away from me Jess!"

And then he turned.

Eyes blazing and teeth clenched. He walked at her, fast and determined. When he was close enough to feel her breath on his face, he hissed. "What the fuck, Rory?"

It was an eerie sort of calm. A fake sort of calm. The kind that only came about before a storm or before a large animal attacked.

"What…?" She whispered, taking a step back.

He gave a dark strained and bitter laugh…and then all hell broke loose.

"What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? You're taking time off school…that's not you!" He was shouting, frustrated.

"I…Things change Jess!" She said.

"That's BS. You love school. It's your life!"

"Well, not anymore. Logan is more important than school." Even Rory was shocked too hear the words that escaped her lips. Her eyes rounded when she released that the words were true. At least her actions were showing that it was.

"Oh, so you're that girl now? The one who gives up your future, your dreams for a guy? You some prissy little rich girl now? Have you become one of those stupid girls we used to make fun of? Is that it?" He was yelling and his eyes were blazing.

Had she? Was she? Rory felt like crying, this was just too much. Too much to handle.

"You don't even talk to your mom now? You and Lorelei were so fucking close when I knew you and now…this. You let some guy go between you? The Rory I knew wouldn't do that? You're living with your grandparents for Christ sake. Why? Why are you doing this?" He paused and dropped his voice down to a normal level, his whole face condemning. "You aren't even the girl I knew. The girl I loved."

And with those words Rory broke. She gave a heaving sob and tears streamed their way down her cheeks. "I don't know. I" She voice cracked."…Just don't know."

And it was on that cold winter night with dirty half-melted snow around her and an old loves eyes on her that she was given the truth. The truth that she had been hiding from for months.

But she still refused to see it.

Even with all the evidence right in front of her.

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Harsh much, Jess?

Yes I know.

But it needed to be said.


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